Worth it

As I sit here with our Baby Thomas in my lap, I can't help but have my mind wander to the day when we are all home together. It will be such a great day. Right now all the things that I was so afraid of, like cathing and shunts and wheelchairs and leg braces, seem completely worth it if it means we get to have him home and be a complete family. I will gladly cath him as often as we need if that means he gets to play animals with John. I will learn everything there is to learn and become an expert on shunt malfunctions and infections if it means he can throw a ball with David. We will become wheelchair builders if it means he can sleep in his own bed. None of this seems scary or impossible when it means he gets to be home. Will I have this state of mind when I have to cath him and he is fussy and kicking and the other two boys are fighting and yelling in the background, I am going to go out on a limb and say no. And that's ok, I forgive future me for when I am frustrated and will hate spina bifida and get flustered because it is going to be hard, but it is going to be worth it.